Sentimental Decluttering

I have never been a particularly materialistic person and don’t enjoy shopping, so collecting an overabundance of stuff has never been a problem for me. But I find our house, which isn’t small, is full of, well, stuff. Just stuff that has accumulated over the years, stuff from living a life. A lot of it.

Part of living intentionally is being intentional with your belongings. I thought I was. I know I was. My rule is, I don’t keep it unless:

• It was practical
• It brings me joy
• It is sentimental

Keeping practical things isn’t a problem.  It has a use, it gets used regularly and has a dedicated home.  Items that bring me joy are actually few and far between, so there aren’t very many of them. It is the sentimental stuff that has caught up with me.

Sentimental clutter slips through our intentional thoughts precisely because it is intentional. We kept it for a reason. The clutter tells the story of the memories and people that are attached to the object we’re keeping. Sentimental items serve as tangible links to our past, capturing people and moments that we hold dear to our hearts. 

However, the inclination to hold onto sentimental clutter can also stem from a fear of losing a part of our identity. Each object tells a story, contributing to the narrative of our lives. Letting go of these items can feel like erasing chapters of our personal history, prompting a reluctance to discard them.

I still have some of my teacher paraphernalia. I stopped teaching 19 years ago. Why do I still have it? Even if I went back to teaching, it is out of date. But it was my identity for so long that I am reluctant to release it.

 In some cases, people keep sentimental items as a way to maintain a connection to deceased loved ones, fearing that parting with these objects would equate to losing their connection to those individuals.

I have jewelry from my mother that I absolutely don’t care for. It was her jewelry that I inherited. She loved it. I don’t. But it was hers. It gives me a connection to her that I wouldn’t otherwise have. But I don’t wear it and it doesn’t bring joy. It doesn’t even look good on me.

While keeping sentimental clutter is a natural human behavior, it’s important to find a balance. Holding onto too many items can lead to physical clutter, which may negatively impact our mental well-being and living spaces. 

This is what has happened to me.  There is just too much of it now. It overflows the shelves and my closet. Going through my side of the closet that I share with my husband, I find my wedding dress—from 24 years ago. Even if I was going to wear it again, which I am not, I can’t fit into it. My body is shaped differently than it was when I was 24. My daughter can’t wear it, she’s shaped very differently than I was at 24. She’s beautifully curvy and four inches taller than I am. That’s even if she would want to wear it.

That’s not all. There are the children’s christening outfits. They certainly aren’t going to wear those again. There is their going home from the hospital outfits that I crocheted for them. I got carpal tunnel syndrome and tennis elbow making them, and then had to stuff them into each outfit, because they were too big for the clothes.

That’s just the closet. I have my and my husband’s first teddy bears.  I keep mine because it is a link to my childhood, which I have very few physical attachments to. Having moved every eighteen months to three years, most of my items were discarded in the moves. I keep his because I keep mine. They’re worn and ugly and serve no real purpose, other than to show that we had teddy bears when we were small.

Why am I holding onto these things?

It’s beneficial to periodically assess our sentimental items, determining which truly hold significant emotional value. Note, significant emotional value. If it is in your closet or a drawer where you don’t see it, chances are it does not hold a significant emotional value. 

Why am I keeping my wedding dress? If I want to be reminded of my wedding, I can look at my husband. After all, I am married to him. I can look at the photo I keep on the hutch of us young and smiling into the camera as we sit in the sweltering Bahamian heat. I don’t need the dress, which I never look at anyway, hanging in the back of my closet.

Why do I keep the teddy bears? Of course we were children once. We didn’t just spout into the world as adults. And of course we had toys, children have toys. Neither one of us particularly love these teddy bears. They just happened to be kept by our parents, and we inherited them. So why keep them if they don’t spark joy?

We don’t.

We find thoughtful ways to preserve or repurpose them. This process allows us to honor our past and the memories associated with these items while making room for the present and future.

You can sell items. You can give them away to other family members that might treasure them more. There are secondhand stores that you can donate them to and help others find things that bring them joy. Some are just plain worn out and deserve a kiss and then go into the garbage. 

I will be going through my house and getting rid of tons of the sentimental clutter that has built up over the past two and half decades. 

What kind of sentimental clutter are you holding onto? Will you join me in decluttering?